i is third

I am an example.

Sometimes I make bad desicions--I waste time on wikipedia instead of working, I don't put all I have into a practice session. I wear t-shirts with offensive band names on them. Sometimes I have bad days. Most times I have good ones.

When I first thought of myself as an example, I saw eyes everywhere. What if someone saw that? What kind of example does that make me? I beat myself up for being human until I decided to start seeing my examples as human too. Then I relaxed, was who I was, who I am. Decided that only showing people a part of my life as an example wasn't a very good example. That even on my bad days I can maybe still inspire someone. If so and so slacks off, well, I shouldn't feel so bad. But then he or she snaps out of it and keeps going. If my examples are human but still do what they do, and if I can show people the same quality, isn't that so much better?

i is second

I am a student.

I walked into the library once, not sure what I was looking for, so I just wandered around. The stacks seem endless if you look at them right. Rows of information, of thought. Some of the spines were too cracked to read the title, I didn't really mind. It was still there.

I stopped looking at the books, running my fingers over the covers instead. Rough canvas mixed with the inviting touch of worn leather. The presence of knowledge, thousands of voices talking to themselves.

I got to a section of phd dissertations, started looking again. Some had been turned into books, but not these. Most them were collecting dust. Each person had spent years working on it, pouring all they had into a few hundred pages of them. Each was only occasionally checked out by another academic. But it wasn't about who was reading, rather who wrote.

I waited until everyone else had gone home for the night. I pushed the couches against the door, blocking the world out and giving me space to practice. I settled down with the first thesis and never left.

flattened snakes and a cop in my bedroom, with empire hovering at the edges of my vision

Anyone remeber the movie 'Hackers'? It's on right now--I'd forgotten that, in the 90s, screenwriters seemed to think that computers could do anything. Plus, so much rollerblading and neon.
...hack the planet.

I'm been thinking about empathy a lot, mostly what it's good for. What I think is that a deliberate lack of empathy is a cultural force today that is making the world a worse place--if not the cornerstone of the explotitive capitalism we operate on.

Our economic and political actions are guided by our cultural choices and attitudes--and a part of culture is what's considered normal. Many people latch onto the little everday deviations from the status quo: different forms of eating or sexuality, different kinds of music or clothing, of politics and thinking. By dimissing these things as weird, by mocking them even while professing acceptance, we create a rigid, narrow notion of what it means to be in our society. This happens all the time--what you may think is a harmless gay joke is pushing people outside of society.

This lack of empathy is the root of our problems. A combination of relentless social enforcement and apathy about what really matters. The only way we can go to war or exploit third world workers is if their way of life is unacceptable to us, and that begins at home.

So how do we gain empathy? There are two kinds--the everyday social intution, reading people and such. I'm bad at that kind, but that just makes me awkward. What I'm talking about is the in kind found in other people's shoes. Our culture is expanding, different kind of lifestyles are popping up every day. So next time you see someone not taking the beaten track, instead of just calling them weird, think about why they are living like that. The answer could be surprising, and maybe you'll be struck with the urge to dip your feet outside the maintstream.

readily ignored for the good of humanity (i are first)

The I am project is a part of the UBBT in which I need to somehow talk about how 57 adjectives apply to me.  I'll be posting all of these in addition to my regular postings.  I'm gong to warn you all, while my blog is about communication, these will be more along the lines of expression.  In other words, forget all of you in the nicest way possible, I'm writing whatever pops up.  

So yeah, nothing else to do but do. 

I am exuberant.

I'll inhabit a wasted day with nothing wasted, chasing imagination through the pain in my knuckles.  Just keep telling myself tomorrow is an illusion, until one day I can forget what hasn't happened long enough to make something happen now.  Keep going, keep going, the pain grows, I can't take but take it and then there is the one glorious second when my passion outstrips my body and I'm invincible.  I collapse, thinking of old movies from the 70s and hope one day to fly--leaping off the roof long enough to forget the ground. 

a funny thing happened on the way to the store

Who says charity can't be fun?

Benefit show for the Silent River Benevolent Foundation--the community building arm of Silent River Kung Fu (ok, technically it's a separate organization).  That's the back of my head on the right, responsibly wearing earplugs.  The singer of a band called High Jinks is somewhere under that group.  Photo by Andrea Janzen.

Doesn't my friend on the left look like a jaguar hood ornament?  Oh, and he doesn't have jaundice.  We think his neck is just the lighting. 

Putting this on was a lot of fun, raising 1200 dollars in a night wasn't too shabby either.  Entertainment for chairty is the way to go for fundraising, in my opinion.  People would have come anyways, they also helped out.  After the show someone told me that it felt good to have fun in support of something.  

I've added the I am project to my list of requirements, so I guess I'll start that tonight.  I'm going to go work on some logic first. 

they're taking the hobbits to isengard! to isengard! to isengard!

I don't spend a lot of time on youtube, but I see a few things.  Including this.  It's human tetris, but not the hilarious Japanese game show.  Instead this is a stop motion art project simply representing the video game.  As you're watching it, take a second to consider how much work this must have been--painstakingly moving each person to the next exact position.  Some people might ask what it's good for.

It's not like this art will inspire revolution or social change--it's hardly a commentary on the idea of video games (though I think it does have some things to say about how we view the digital world).  It's not really beautiful in a strict sense. 

But it is one thing: awesome.  Pure, unadulterated, home style, organically farmed awesome.  Go watch it again.  It's absolutely brilliant for no reason other than what it is.  

I don't like it when people question the point of art.  While subtext is vital to any artistic work, many things don't need a point or a movement.  They're just fantastic.  Spice of life, right there.    

This video really illustrates my point.  It's pretty stupid, I know.  But watch it tomorrow morning and then just try to have a bad day. 

i believe in something, but i don't know what it is. it's either the future or the end. it's every reason that i do or don't get out of bed.

Defiance, Ohio=amazing band.  

I was walking between classes (listening to that band/song, actually) today and the ground went something like this:

snowsnowsnowsnowsnowICEICEsnowsnowsnowsnow

At one point I slipped.  I'll leave it up to you to figure out where.

I'm not the most graceful guy in the best of circumstances, so it's not like falling is exactly a new experience.  Usually I breakfall or just kind of sit down, but today I stuck my hand out and nearly dislocated my shoulder.  It was kind of disturbing for me: I've been practicing breakfalls for over eight years--normally they're automatic.  

For those of you playing along at home, there's a lesson to this.  No matter how ready you think you are, sometimes you're not.  Prevent this by practicing, you all know this--long and hard, sometimes under induced pressure.  But stuff happens--whether a slip, important form, tough sparring match or a real self-defense situation, sometimes those ninja skills seem to abandon us under pressure.     

Beyond practicing twice as hard afterwards, the only thing to do when you're floundering is work through it.  For me that involved a dust off and my best attempt at a casual shrug, hopefully for the benefit of that cute girl walking behind me.  A fall is over quickly though, other times when we become skill-less can last a while.  In that case, take a breath, stay calm and remind yourself you know it and can perform.  If that fails do what I did and try to make it seem like you meant to screw up. 

Not that it did me any good.