i are fourth.

Have some i ams. Short and sweet, just some meaning.

3
I am connected.
there are mountains surrounding here. out every window impossibly ancient history juts into the sky. i think about it plunging into the earth, without moving. i think about it being the earth itself. i'll grind my feet a little more for the horse stance. twist it, pushing small bits of concrete aside. i'll feel myself go down according to what i'm a part of.

4
i am unencumbered
slam the palm against the tree, grip as i pull back. fingers are claws. fingers are claws. they learnt by watching, so i'll also proceed by metaphor.
fingers are claws.
not the usual trees, ones by the dining hall. far back in the dark instead. supposedly not to disturb those eating. really i just want to be by myself. out here in the dark the tree is hardly visible, pale fingers bright as they slam, then grab. out here in the dark it's only my hands and the tree. nothing to worry about when the fingers are claws.
last slam, last pull. start on the left. smell the sap on my fingers before i feel. sweetness isn't taste but an event.

5
i am an explorer
columbus looted gold--finding those already found. hard to discover something so big. the frontier only looks that way from the sepulchres, vast landscapes can never be home if you've only got a one way view.
contact zone is the new term, places of conflict and negotiation. trades and code-switching. you mucka high!
training as a pyramid, the spiritual mountain. everything has a top. walk long enough you start going down. walk even longer and i'll end up where you started. light bends, so watch your step--don't worry about where i'm going until i get there.
explore doesn't always mean contact. in pidgin x doesn't mean sh, so i'll stick to speaking in my own head.

6
i am listening
-ing. the gerund. an event in progress. active. something i do. listenING. hey, watch the eye contact. shoulders back, young man. you're listenING. lost skills that were never found to begin with. Nod at the right places, make the good sounds. lean forward, young man. you're listenING. ING ING ING. active. something i do.

7
i am open-minded
fell down the stairs not too long ago. head predictably split in two and the world spilt out. open only as long as i'm allowed to talk. open only according to me. tore it open on purpose yesterday and let the world spill in, slosh around. peeled away the cerebellum folds today and found a garden. no imposition, no order. i like it that way, but that doesn't mean i shouldn't pull the weeds.

8
i am a follower
the leader points we all look lazily. so we're beaten without us knowing and we learn to snap to attention. eventually we learn to beat each other. clubs behind each others backs. small words that keeps the mainstream pure.
i'm being pulled along by the crowd of happy marchers, fighting to leave but never quite making it because there is nowhere to go. we're all marching along, silent beatings given out by smiling friends. i'll stay out of step as best i can, but even that is tinged with bitterness and fashion. i'm being dragged all the same and there's no way i'll go quietly.
if wisdom points i'll look. but i won't snap and i'll never kneel.